I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
