after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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