I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
