I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
