She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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