I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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