did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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