I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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