the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Randomize
