I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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