I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
