I need help removing her.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
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