Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
