Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
