that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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