Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
