And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
