Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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