YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
