a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
