please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
