Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
