Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
