Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
