Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
