i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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