her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
