you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
