This girl is more easily done than said...
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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