i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
