I hate all girls vehemently.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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