i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Randomize
