I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I feel like death gave me a hand job
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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