I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
