HIV tests are more positive than that guy
"it" just moved
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
