And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
