We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
