She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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