boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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