I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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