Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
