Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Randomize
