i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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