How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
