see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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