i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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