i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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