it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
