Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I CAN MOONWALK!
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
