maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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