You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
